Comments on: My girlfriend’s parents are wishing to Marry her off in an arranged marriage. I need help? http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/ Stretch your mind and body Mon, 21 May 2012 17:35:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: huge_tracts_of_land http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/comment-page-1/#comment-869 huge_tracts_of_land Thu, 20 Aug 2009 09:51:28 +0000 http://yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/#comment-869 You're young. You're in love. And her parents don't know you exist? Then it's not love. Plain and simple. If she was as committed to you as you say you are to her, she would have told her parents you exist, professed her love for you to them, and dealt with the aftermath. This is not the case. It sounds like you come from two different worlds. If you did manage to stay together, would you adopt her beliefs or expect her to adopt yours? Weigh your options, and I think you'll realize that this union is headed for a bittersweet ending. If she is willing to marry another man for the sake of a college education (Which, if you do the math, she probably won't finish school in an arranged marriage, anyhow. Her parents are basically selling her off as a comodity, not a person.), then her priorities are not in the right place to begin with, and she obviously doesn't see the game her parents are playing with her life. My advice.. walk away now, go on lots of dates, and one day you will find someone who shares your ideals, your beliefs and your dreams. Good luck and best wishes. You’re young. You’re in love. And her parents don’t know you exist? Then it’s not love. Plain and simple. If she was as committed to you as you say you are to her, she would have told her parents you exist, professed her love for you to them, and dealt with the aftermath. This is not the case. It sounds like you come from two different worlds. If you did manage to stay together, would you adopt her beliefs or expect her to adopt yours? Weigh your options, and I think you’ll realize that this union is headed for a bittersweet ending. If she is willing to marry another man for the sake of a college education (Which, if you do the math, she probably won’t finish school in an arranged marriage, anyhow. Her parents are basically selling her off as a comodity, not a person.), then her priorities are not in the right place to begin with, and she obviously doesn’t see the game her parents are playing with her life. My advice.. walk away now, go on lots of dates, and one day you will find someone who shares your ideals, your beliefs and your dreams. Good luck and best wishes.

]]> By: Slim http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/comment-page-1/#comment-868 Slim Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:59:16 +0000 http://yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/#comment-868 I understand your feelings on this situation, I think that it is wrong for her parents to make her decisions for her. I dont really know where you guys are from or anything but if your in the usa, there is ways around the whole thing. From my understanding on the problem is she cant afford to go to college. There are College grants out there. All she has to doisapply for them and as long as she meets their standards and turnsin everything they need to process her application than she will find out if she can get a grant to pay her tuition for her. If it is a grant she doesnt pay that back to the government. There are also some colleges that provide studane tloans threw the college too. My husband got one threw the college here in town and they couldnt reject him cause it was threw the college. She should look into all that and see what happens before she lets her parents have their way. As for the arranged marriage thing that is wrong and she should be able to chose for herselfon who she wants to marry it isnt her parents decision. It isnt right making a woman or a man marry somebody they dont know or even love. Cause than they wont be happy and they will regret it later. I also think you should talk to her and tell her how you are feeling about the whole thing. Tell her exactly how you feel and dont be shy and dont hide anything from her on your feelings for her!!! I understand your feelings on this situation, I think that it is wrong for her parents to make her decisions for her. I dont really know where you guys are from or anything but if your in the usa, there is ways around the whole thing. From my understanding on the problem is she cant afford to go to college. There are College grants out there. All she has to doisapply for them and as long as she meets their standards and turnsin everything they need to process her application than she will find out if she can get a grant to pay her tuition for her. If it is a grant she doesnt pay that back to the government. There are also some colleges that provide studane tloans threw the college too. My husband got one threw the college here in town and they couldnt reject him cause it was threw the college.
She should look into all that and see what happens before she lets her parents have their way. As for the arranged marriage thing that is wrong and she should be able to chose for herselfon who she wants to marry it isnt her parents decision. It isnt right making a woman or a man marry somebody they dont know or even love. Cause than they wont be happy and they will regret it later. I also think you should talk to her and tell her how you are feeling about the whole thing. Tell her exactly how you feel and dont be shy and dont hide anything from her on your feelings for her!!!

]]> By: dizzkat http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/comment-page-1/#comment-867 dizzkat Sat, 15 Aug 2009 22:47:54 +0000 http://yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/#comment-867 Where do you live? I can only answer with advice as it would be in the USA. First, the decision must be hers. If she chooses to go along with her parents, then she is lost to you and you must move on. If she really does not want to accept their arrangement, then she can refuse. If she wants an education, there are student loans she can take to pay for it. She can also get a job to pay for her living expenses as they will most likely turn their backs on her if she goes against their wishes. You can help her as much as possible, but do not jump into a teen marriage please. Where do you live? I can only answer with advice as it would be in the USA.
First, the decision must be hers. If she chooses to go along with her parents, then she is lost to you and you must move on.
If she really does not want to accept their arrangement, then she can refuse. If she wants an education, there are student loans she can take to pay for it. She can also get a job to pay for her living expenses as they will most likely turn their backs on her if she goes against their wishes.
You can help her as much as possible, but do not jump into a teen marriage please.

]]> By: cosnipa http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/comment-page-1/#comment-866 cosnipa Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:50:27 +0000 http://yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/#comment-866 Talk to her parents about it, and have her tell her parents what she wants to do. Make them aware that it's HER life. Talk to her parents about it, and have her tell her parents what she wants to do. Make them aware that it’s HER life.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/comment-page-1/#comment-865 Melissa Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:46:07 +0000 http://yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/#comment-865 Talk to her parents and make them understand your love for her and disguss to them what is best for her. Talk to her parents and make them understand your love for her and disguss to them what is best for her.

]]> By: Go http://www.yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/comment-page-1/#comment-864 Go Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:44:58 +0000 http://yogaican.com/iyengar/my-girlfriends-parents-are-wishing-to-marry-her-off-in-an-arranged-marriage-i-need-help/#comment-864 So your girlfriend's parents are blackmailing her by telling her she has to go along with the arranged marriage or they will not pay for her tuition? Well, if she chooses to leave you and to go along with the arranged marriage in order to go to college and get a degree, I would say tell her to fuc_ off while you kick her bitc_ as_ out the door. How can you even think she loves you if she is willing to blow you off so she can go to college? You're saying that she would rather marry some guy she doesn't even want to marry instead of you in order for her to go to her university? You have 3 solutions here : 1) You pay for her tuition so she doesn't have to go along with the arranged marriage. 2) You tell her to not give into her parents' blackmail and to not go to the university, and she agrees. 3) Find a new girlfriend. You're 17, you're going to meet many, many, many new girls in your lifetime. Why do you want to be tied down to one of the first when you know that they are better looking girls with better situations out there? And don't forget you were the one who wrote "im serious about her I assure you, and she claims she is about me". You wrote : "They have not directly threatened her to not pay for her expenses or anything like that... it is just that she is absolutely certain they will disown her (she has discussed "what if" scenarios with them and they have made that clear)." So if they disown her I'm assuming that would also include cutting off all financial support which would include her university tuition, right? So your girlfriend’s parents are blackmailing her by telling her she has to go along with the arranged marriage or they will not pay for her tuition?

Well, if she chooses to leave you and to go along with the arranged marriage in order to go to college and get a degree, I would say tell her to fuc_ off while you kick her bitc_ as_ out the door. How can you even think she loves you if she is willing to blow you off so she can go to college? You’re saying that she would rather marry some guy she doesn’t even want to marry instead of you in order for her to go to her university?

You have 3 solutions here :

1) You pay for her tuition so she doesn’t have to go along with the arranged marriage.

2) You tell her to not give into her parents’ blackmail and to not go to the university, and she agrees.

3) Find a new girlfriend. You’re 17, you’re going to meet many, many, many new girls in your lifetime. Why do you want to be tied down to one of the first when you know that they are better looking girls with better situations out there?

And don’t forget you were the one who wrote “im serious about her I assure you, and she claims she is about me”.

You wrote : “They have not directly threatened her to not pay for her expenses or anything like that… it is just that she is absolutely certain they will disown her (she has discussed “what if” scenarios with them and they have made that clear).”

So if they disown her I’m assuming that would also include cutting off all financial support which would include her university tuition, right?

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